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Her Betrothal*

Somewhat Tedious, with Immature Heroine

This book had the potential to be interesting, or at least I found that of the blurb had intriguing elements. But the heroine, who is the main voice of the story, comes across as a petulant teenager instead of a young woman on the cusp of marriage and perhaps co-ruling her kingdom. The book uses the first-person present point-of-view, but the author didn’t seem to have a mastery of how to use tenses in this viewpoint, so they were sometimes wrong, which was jarring when they occurred. In general, I am not a fan of the first-person present point-of-view for several reasons, including this one. I think that it is actually distancing because it is so unusual. I read so many books in the third-person past that the viewpoint doesn’t even make much of a blip on my radar unless the author gets confused with tenses or calls attention to it in another way. I think authors mistakenly believe that the first-person present gives a book a greater sense of immediacy, but for me, I have never felt that to be the case.

The book had other issues as well. It has some strange problems with grammar, punctuation, and usage; commas seemed particularly problematic. I felt like the book was slow to start and quite repetitive. Much could have been cut out or condensed, which made of made this story tighter and better. As I was reading along, I felt like I was just waiting for something to actually happen; I don’t like that feeling in a book.  I feel like this book could have used both a developmental editor and a copy editor/proofreader.

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